Where Have All the Manners Gone?

I'm an elderly Southern lady who has some difficulty walking. Sometimes I use a cane, and there are times when I use a walker.

So I fit in the categories of being Female, Elderly, and Handicapped.

When we're out in public I am appalled to find that people have gotten so rude.

It's become the norm that when I arrive at store isle intersections I'M the one who has to stop and let the other person by. If I don't, I get run over.

Although some people will help with holding doors open, most do not. People, including even store employees, speed around me with no regard for the likelihood that they are going to knock me down.

I'm old enough to remember when it was normal that people would respect their elders, show deference to women, and go out of their way to be helpful to anyone with a handicap.

My wonderful hubby ALWAYS shows his good manners and goes out of his way to be respectful and helpful. But then he's from the "Old School" and was taught good manners as a child, as I was.

This is one time when I DO wish for the "Good Old Days', and I make a point of saying Thank You to anyone who still shows good manners!!

Memory Slowdown Equals Bulging Pockets????

I can't count how many times in the last few months I have thought of something that would make a great post on this blog. Things come up in conversation or I see something on TV, or I remember something about the way things used to be ... all good starting points. The only problem is, by the time I can get to a place where I could jot down my thoughts ... they're gone.

Senior Moments? Medicine side effects? Brain Fog? Hard to say, but I suspect a little of all three. I know it is true that older folks tend to have less short term memory, but remember things from a long time ago a whole lot better. Certainly there are plenty of medicines that affect mental sharpness. I know from personal experience that some meds dull the mind. And then there's always the possibility that the brain fog is another symptom of my medical situation itself.

Regardless of the cause of the problem, I still need to deal with it. There are lots of ways to keep those current thoughts from slipping away so easily. There's the low tech way of always having a small notepad and pen handy, to high tech solutions, such as sending yourself emails or text messages from your cell phone. And I'm sure there are other ways to capture these fleeting thoughts, too. But I guess what I need to do is start carrying a piece of paper and a small pen with me everywhere.

I haven't carried a purse in years, opting instead for always buying pants with deep pockets. Now that I use a cane when we go to Estate Sales and such on our Friday Date Days, I really don't need to start carrying a purse, anyway. It's just one more thing to juggle, and I need to be able to concentrate on my balance and not breaking something!!

So it sounds like it's bulging pockets for me, unless I go for the Fanny Pack look, eh? Whichever I choose is not much of a fashion statement, but sometimes you just do whatcha gotta do!!!

Extended Family Thoughts

Our parents are all gone to be in Heaven now, enjoying a wonderful reunion with their spouses. This is a very comforting thought. It's also very comforting that we were able to be with all four in their last moments here on earth. All four were surrounded by their loved ones. So many people don't get to share those moments with their loved ones, so I feel very fortunate to have shared that important time with them.

Don't get me wrong, though. Even in the best of situations, watching a loved one take their last breath is not easy. I really don't know how people who don't have confidence in life after death can deal with it. All our family members have strong Christian beliefs, and we know we will be reunited with them in the future, through the grace of Jesus's death and resurrection. With Easter so close, and Daddy's death so recent, I'm reminded of this gift of grace many times every day.

I realize there are plenty of loving family members who have not been able to keep their loves ones at home, as we were able to do with three of our parents. I don't want to sound like I consider us "better" than those who decide the best decision for their parent's well being is to move them to a Nursing Home or Assisted Living facility. I'm just grateful that we could help them age in place.

In times past, it wasn't nearly as unusual for several generations to live in the same home. Grandparents, Aunts, and Uncles typically were included as part of the nuclear family, providing ready help, advice, and extra loving relationships for the children. They didn't just move in when their own health was ruined, but lived together as strong members of the family unit for many years. I wonder if we will ever see a return to that sort of extended family dynamic in large numbers.

I had to travel all the way to Chicago to see my grandparents, but they were still a strong influence on me as a child. Did you, or do you, live in an extended family?

Estate Sale Suggestion - Not My Usual Kind of Post, But a Word of Advice

If you have anyone in your family who is likely to need home care or special equipment, such as a walker, you really should check out a few estate sales before buying anything brand new. If you know what a good quality piece of equipment looks like, and you've done your homework on what they cost new, you'll be amazed at how cheaply these types of items can be found, when children are trying to empty out their parents' home.

But one thing I would suggest that you might not think to look for, until you actually need it for a loved one, is to be on the lookout for the large sections of artificial fleece that will sometimes show up at such sales. These are extremely expensive to buy new, and it's not unusual to walk away from an Estate Sale with one for just a couple of dollars. They are fantastic, not only underneath a bed ridden person, but also as an under pad in that favorite chair, cushions for elbows and heels, and the perfect soft material to put between knees and ankles. They wick moisture away from the body, are strong enough to act as draw sheets, wash and dry quickly, and can be bleached, if necessary. And when the time comes that you need to change Depends in the bed, they make it very easy to tuck the dirty one under and pull it out without stressing tender skin as much as using just a draw sheet does.